Awaits year 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR~ HAPPY NEW YEAR~HAPPY NEW YEAR~HAPPY NEW YEAR~HAPPY NEW YEAR~ HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

I want my font to appear colourful.. sorry if the words make ur eyes turn narrow.. hoho..

hmm.. in less than an hour, year 2009 is approaching.. feeling quite hyper now.. although i have yet to come up with any resolution.. hahaha...

aiyah.. no need rush.. it is just another year... but my age turns 21!!!

to all my friends, happy new year.. may the year of ox will bring lots of luck to all of u.. all da best..!!!

and lastly happy new year !!

进入假期第三天，什么也没做。。
很无聊兼没心情。。一个字。。懒
在家感觉真好，多了一份归属。。
前几个星期，爽爽就紧张起来，无缘无故地发生，常感觉到心跳加速，
当然并不是看到谁谁才紧张啦。。应该是＂抵死＂的压力害的。。
还好，这种感觉消失了。。高兴！！因为我不想患上忧郁症。。

还有我上学期成绩出炉了。。还好没有肥佬。。谢谢老天。。
不想多说，因为也没有很光荣。。哈哈。。 就酱。。

再会

Wee~

After 4 days in KTSN, i am back at home once more.. Wee~ happy~~
For all da ppl who r still having holiday, enjoy ur holiday while u can~ hehe
and i want to wish CttM, hang fok always~

yesterday went to the dissection hall again.. had to attend the meeting with the cadavers..
this time, they wanted us to see the gastrointestinal tract and urinary system..
and so.. there were duodenum, jejunum, ileum, colons,pancreas, liver, kidneys, stomach, ureter, urethra , urinary bladder,and etc etc on display.. end of story ,full stop

bad news- next friday gonna hav mini test again. SIGH

good news- none

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..............
CHUN CUI SRCEAMING~

coming to an end..

Two weeks of holidays,
is coming to an end.
This holiday is different,
from the previous one I had.
I am not occupied by the feeling of,
boredom and loneliness,
instead,
I feel contented and joyous,
for being able to go on vacation,
for being able to meet up old friends,
for the first time,
I really rest for 2 weeks.

New semester coming,
I am eager,
I am looking forward,
to meet up my coursemates,
to gossip once more,
to back to study life once more.

Year 2008 is also coming to an end,
I hope everyone is filled with happiness,
no matter what haunts you down,
or troubles you,
have faith in yourself,
troubles will go away,
pain will fade away,
just let time heals you.

great release

AFTER weeks of sufferings that I had been through, today is the day I have been waiting for~
Right after 2.30pm, right after the Oral Biology OSPE exam, that is the moment where I could flee from the pain of studying.

Ever since the raya holiday, my only one responsibility is to study study and study. Morning attend class, back in the afternoon, study.
After dinner, study again.

When nearing exam period, my time of sleep is extended to 1.00 am, then wake up at 4.30am or 5.00am to study again. *Please do not try this at home, it is not healthy at all*

Mama bought me 3 boxes of chicken essence, each box contains 6 little bottles, and I drink it everyday to keep myself awake during lecture. (but I still fall asleep sometimes)

I am starting to hate the hostel room. Especially the desk. Dont ask why.

To keep all of you updated, my finals starts on monday to thursday.

Monday- Anatomy
the theory part i should consider it to be okay, but still there are some parts which i cannot do.
the OSPE, OSPE is a practical exam, whereby there will be 30 stations in total. In each station, you will be given one minute to answer the questions being asked.
*note: the questions are directed to real cadaver or real life specimens*
and therefore, i do not do well, especially on the upper limb's nerve supply and lower limb's muscles. hope for the best .

Tuesday-Biochemistry
A total disaster. cannot imagine how many marks i have lost. sorry to disappoint u, pn mariati.
nothing more to elaborate on.

Wednesday-Physiology
the mcq are tough, while the essays are still acceptable.
oh ya,back to biochemistry. after exam, my heart totally sinks. but, after a nap, as advised by mama, i went to sleep for an hour.
after waking up, i feel better,and i realise i need to carry on for the next subject, and therefore i do not ponder too long.

Thursday- Oral Biology
the mcqs are again difficult, the essays are unexpected questions by everyone. but i manage to finish it on time.
then OSPE for oral biology, there are also 30 stations, each for 1 minute. er.. lazy to elaborate

FINALLY, all exam end~

AFTER EXAM,
annie, jia xin and i went to sungai wang at bukit bintang. before going there, michael told us about a restaurant named ZANG TOI, which is famous for its chocolate banana cake with ice cream topping.

at first, we did not plan to visit that outlet. however, i think it must be due to some sort of chemical attraction, we arrived in front of ZANG TOI subconciously. =.=

and so, we thought it must be some kind of "yuan fen" that we made our way there, so we sat down and ordered-- the famous CHOCOLATE BANANA CAKE WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM.
i strongly urge everyone to try it, as it was really mouth drooling, the chocolate sensation was intense, and it melted in ur mouth straight away.. and plus the banana fragrance, and the chilling vanilla ice cream, and more importantly, the chocolate cake was HOT and contrary, the ice cream was COLD, two of the elements produced a different tingling effect.. it was GREAT~

ah.. now i m back in my room, blogging without worries.. such a happy day..

The Past..

Recalling the past,
Believing anything, and
everything being told.
Was this naive?
I did not know.

Recalling the past,
I was living under a false imagination,
assuming that everything was going to be good,
things which happened was a blessed,
but,
things turned me down,
was I naive?
I guess so.

Recalling the past,
flowers which were blooming,
suddenly wilted,
without prior notice,
yet,
I still think it was normal.
Was I dumb?
Yes, I do think so.

Recalling the past,
with all stupidity I had,
what do I have now?
nothing, but ZERO.

sleepy day

SlEePy!!

midnight 2

Heart,
a sign of life,
a sign of love,
indeed,
a must for anatomy.

Thank you,
thank you my friends,
who dropped by,
and left their wishes.

Wishes ,
blessings,
and support,
are essential,
especially,
during such moment.

Thank you,
mother,
who works hard,
for her daughter,
without groudges.

nhc,
will procrastinate,
at least for now...

midnight

doing lab report.
although there has been little tiring signal from my eyes,
i dont feel like sleeping yet.
today is already monday,
a new start, a fresh week,
is it so? i do not know.

life has not been smooth lately,
mainly due to academic workload,
which pile up day by day.
eagerly waiting for the only,
and only 2 weeks break,
but before that,
a long way to reach,
can i do it?
it remains unsolved.

am i able to study?
yes, i have faith,
this is what i need to tell,
tell myself.
my goal, any hope to it?
i do not know, and
do not dare to hope,
as it is as tiny,
as the unreachable stars,
out in da universe.

late in the midnight,
my mind is clearer now,
to see through things,
which i couldnt see.
fingers crossed,
wishing everything,
will be just fine.

the almighty,
please bless me,
with the power you hold,
guide me through,
this new challenge.
i do not want to sink,
sink before trying,
sink beyond the ground.

Mood : Normal ( it doesnt fluctuate then it is considered as normal )
Brain : Currently being injected with lots of vitamin Biochemistry, but blood report still shows it
lacks of Vitamin Anatomy
Things to express :
-Always hope can be more self-motivated, kick off the crying-babies bad habit
-dont feel down too easily, emotion control is important
-mindset is important, to overcome any obstruction in life- including anything
-plus, birthday falls on exam period.. somo 2 days before exam, why so suei @.@
-hope i can know more friends through pesta angpau activity

going back to KTSN later, a place where I can only face 4 walls, 1 desk, 1 cupboard and books!

**hope i dont get old too soon**

Dental's Family Day

Date : 11th October 2008 (Saturday)
Venue: KTSN field
Time : 7.30am to 2pm

My team : Cosmos (Rumah Hijau)
(1) Khemah design
-It all started on Friday night. Cosmos team members were "summoned" down somewhere near the field. Boys were required to do all the "pindah-pindah" stuff, while girls were had to do pom-pom(s), and all the decoration for the khemah. After a while, estimated time at about 2130, we all moved to another place- surau, to continue our things.
-Annie and I continued to tear the pom pom, so that it looked more "volumic". Consequences: our fingers were like swollen, and reddish, luckily blister didnt follow up. phew..
-IMPORTANT: friends from other Rumah(s) - Apollo, Soyuz and Skylab, could go back to their rooms and rest, the latest at 11pm. COSMOS punya orang, had to stay up until 2am! and that was the time when Annie and I left. There were still people doing after 2am.
-IN CONTRAST: The boys who had done all the "pindah-pindah" things were so relaxing down there, without having anything to do. A bit geram! so unfair!

(2) ThE DaY
-suppose all members should go down by 7.30am,but Annie and I went down at 8am. (lol)
-the khemah was --satisfying , when you had seen the other Rumah design, their designs were also so-so. (muahahaha)
-the day started off with aerobic exercise. Then, seniors continued to turn up, surprsingly, there were quite a lot of the 4th and 5th years seniors who turned up~
-IMPORTANT : Dr Safar ( the lecturer who teaches Oral Biology ) and the Dean - Prof Ghazali also attended!! Dr Safar's stretching out seemed to be a bit exaggerated, as it was a huge difference with what the instructors had shown in front.. for those of you who had witnessed it yesterday, you all would know what I meant by exaggerated. The Dean pula, busy stretching out with his camera. While senamerobik-ing, he could move and take photos of his "beloved" students.. =.=

(3)The games
-aiya, not much - basketball, volleyball, netball.. blah blah blah
-sukaneka, erm, well, COSMOS won most of the games. (proud, although we cheated) hahahaha
-IMPORTANT : VICO came and sponsored us with their drinks~

(4) The photos
-Due to the blazing sunshine, and we were too free to do anything, photo taking would be a nice choice.








from left to right: lili, lv, jia xin, annie, bee hwa, hui yin

from left to right: lili, lv, eng choon, sam, eugene

me, jia xin, annie , bee hwa, hui yin

SK, me, annie

first year with Dr Safar

Cosmos- Scott, me, annie, bernard and SK

My buddy and I- she said she didnt want her photo to be uploaded

and so.. the day ended..

photos

just as what I have promised.. photos.. well.. there are just a few of them.. hope you all will forgive me.. +)

this was the first photo which i took with my new phone.

this pouch cost RM5
my mom-she said she liked this photo the most. ")
Me- with those two incurable pimples
teluk pulai temple-never thought it could be so nice

that's all.. ahem..

nothing much but still there is a little

hmm.. nothing much to update..
Yesterday I tried mind-mapping with all my "equipments" ready.
Erm, results- not bad satisfying
Real results -need to be assessed by Pn Mariati
Things to be done by this week

• BSMM presentation slide
• PDL presentation slide
• Whole bunch of revision awaiting
• Half-way done Oral Biology practical
• Things which I couldnt remember

Joyous Saturday..

Well, it was joyous as I got a new phone after the previous one had accidentally fallen into the toilet bowl and the man at the service center had declared my nokia phone BRAIN DEAD. It was not even 3 months old that time, what a sad loss.

But as the old saying goes, if the old one doesnt leave, the new one wont come to you..After 6 months, which was yesterday, YAY, I went to Sunway Pyramid -to be more specifically, Sony Ericsson certified service center to survey which phone was suitable.

I must say that the staffs there were quite helpful and patience as he carefully asked what was my budget and phone which I was seeking for..
Finally, after having hand contact with K810 which was too bulky, and K(dont know what model already, which it didnt have flash, which meant i couldnt take nice photos at night), so I had chosen K770i.

erm, I havent got the chance to upload the photo here.. but it will be soon.. As this is the first time I am using Sony Ericsson's phone, I need some time to get used to it with all those functions and keypad.. somehow it is different from nokia.. but hope it is resistant towards mechanical abrasion and tension? ahem.. as I might drop the phone on the floor.. hope it is hard enough..

It is 3.2 megapixels phone with 3G services and in coincidence I passed by a Maxis service center, so I got my phone activated with 3G service.. so anyone who wish to try out 3G, can video conference with me? haha..

HOPE EVERYONE CAN CHEER UP IN THIS UPCOMING RAYA..\
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.. ISH, If I am wrong, then sorry larh..

Home..

Finally back at home as I will be having a week of holiday in conjunction with Hari Raya Aidilfitri.. Phew.. It feels great to be home only when there is people at home, if not, I will be rotting all the way.. I felt so much like going home on Thursday night..

Ok, let me bring you all back to Thursday night..
Bee Hua is my coursemate from Kelantan, she speaks a little bit of KelantaE..

Ok, she came and asked me to go for BSMM duty that day, well , I said ok without thinking much..

Next, we went down together to the BSMM room.. There was a guy waiting also.. waiting to duty.. his first sentence ,"you all are dental students ah?" We nodded and continued to wait.

So, here comes Brian (the person -in -charge to open the room for us to go in), so the door opened and we got inside and took our seat..This had yet to be the main point yet..

So, that guy also sat down opposite , facing us.. Ok here it started..
While Bee Hua and I were looking at our books, suddenly, "Hai, 你们好..."=.-
Now let me introduce this guy, if you all in UKM, sure you will know this guy, Trevor Chan from Fac of medicine.. bespectacled, rounded face.. ok i shall stop on his appearance..

We were like .. "What were he doing??" Below were our conversation--
Trevor- T, Bee Hua-B, Me-A
T: 我在想一个好的开场白，Hai是最好了.. 你们好啊。。

B and A: DENG... @@

T:我先来介绍我自己啦。。我名叫庆原（如果没有错的话，我没有问他的名字如何写）。。来自
sarawak。。

B and A: DENG DENG... #.#

B: 她叫慧贞.

A:她叫美华.

T: 你们两个一定是stpm的叻？你们看起来很成熟叻。。

B and A:我们不是stpm的。。 （虽然我是，可是美华不是）

B:你不用酱婉转的啦，成熟不好听一点就是老。。

T:不是，不是，你们很成熟大方嘛。。

B and A:_._T:你看你看，笑了。。

A:我们没有在笑。。

T:有啦，都漏出牙齿了。。

B and A:（头低低，不知所措。。）

T：你看你看，还有酒窝（美华是笑的时候是有少少的dimples）

A: 你不是要读书的啊。。还不读？
T：我比较喜欢讲话多过读书咯。。
B and A: （没有理他）
T：你（指美华）的电话保养到不错哦。。用了几久？
B：谢谢。。用一星期。。
T：喔，一定是电话不见叻，我朋友嘛是不见电话。。
B and A: +.+
T：很sien叻，打电话叫永俊来。。
A：（我们是想叫永俊来打发他）好啊，我现在就打..
。。。。。。。。 OK 啦，你现在来啊。。BYE
张永俊，外称，裴勇俊。。也是我同学。。他一直都很想住宿舍，结果他就很努力去争取merit的机会，这次也不例外。。
永俊-C
so, when C just stepped in not even 10minutes, Trevor left the room by saying, "我要出去一下，很快回来。。"
when he was back, the clock showed 2230..

In conclusion, this was a nice scene.. for the audience, but not to us...end story, if you happen to meet Trevor Chan or bump into him in school, beware.. of his Friendliness...

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Other than the incident above, I tried to read up Periodontal Ligament, and tooth eruption on that night.. I did not know why, I couldn't get a word into my memory sac, I felt so irritated but I did not know what to do.. again MANG ZHANG -ness dropped by and visited me..
Feeling miserably, luckily Bee Hua sort of calmed me down, thanks to her..
Then back in my room, for the first time ever I felt so much like going home..
I wanted to see mama... I wanted to smell on my small heart shaped pillow.. I wanted HOME!!
argh.... Again, I have decided to sleep early on that night.. due to all contrbuting factors..
Luckily, I was fine on the next morning.. Phew..

In conclusion, during pek chek time, take a rest.. so that you can travel further..

Quotes of the day:

• Although I am pro in sleeping during lecture, that doesnt mean I will sleep in front of my PC
• When holding the brain, it also leaks out juice(formalin)

Happy news and bad news

Just got my Enamel and Dentine results yesterday..
Enamel
Matrix no : A 122205 C+ (passed)
Dentine
Matrix no : A 122205 C- (failed)

Phew.. when I looked at the result, the feeling was like going down the hill, rolling down at a slow pace.. because there were also many of my coursemates who failed.. but still, it was a fail..
I did read on it, but didnt know what went wrong, I sueh sueh failed this chapter which contribute 7.5% in my finals.. SO... I actually lost the marks.. kinda sad in the morning.. However, no one counsel me.. So I gotta counsel myself then.. I should learn to overcome bad feeling which haunt me down, because I really hate that feeling.. nearly 20 years old by now.. everything should be seen from a positive side... Especially I need to handle my emotion better..
Anyhow, I feel there is a slight improvement within myself.. I THINK..
main point was, after one lecture, then I was fine again.. Besides, I even kepo went and counsel my friends also.. ( I might have the potential to be a counsellor? who knows right?)..

Then today... another result was out.. BioChem..
A- ( feel happy for myself ) Big applause to myself for my not - very- much -effort (but dont be mistaken, there was still effort OK?) ... there was feedback from lecturers on our mini test.. and they blah blah... blah... and then there was a tragic moment after that.. Everyone rushed to the faculty and looked at their results.. BikabOOM.. there were all kinds of expressions from my coursemates.. Some of them did not perform well and they had an emotion outbreak... My heart really sank with them.. We had been through IO(informal orientation ) with them, we really had the toughest moment with the seniors, we had laugh and cries all together.. and I hope everyone of us can pass together as one .. and of course I counselled them once more... We sort of discussed the exam technique and all sorts of stuff.. and I hope I could help them out.. I really do..

hmm.. i guess i need to study for anatomy tutorial tomorrow.. NIGHT..

QUOTE OF THE DAY :

people can still find their happiness where i do not exist....
but i have nowhere to go...where is my happiness...

Helpless

Oh no.. what is wrong with me? for now I feel so miserable.. I don't know where to start nor what to do.. just feel so helpless.. Am I tired? Yes, mentally tired.. Am I not able to go through all these? I don't know.. I need some extra strength somewhere.. especially my mental.. it is too weak and vulnerable.. it is unable to defend attack by attack from unknown sources..
with the end of semester exam approaching, plus the pressure given by my mentor, it is like a whole new burden being placed on my shoulder.. my mentor said if you all don't start by now, you will fail.. whenever there is a self study period during class, go STRAIGHT to the library.. what was that advice? i don't think i can follow.. GO TO LIBRARY LIKE YOUR SECOND HOME??!!
I have faith in myself but at the same time I am lost in nowhere.. I know it is bullshit for me to say all these.. but I am really helpless, especially at this critical period.. When all my old friends are not on the same boat with me.. and new friends usually don't get a chance to see my miserable face ( because I usually feel miserable at home )...
Argh, just feel like having an emotional outburst!! I want to enjoy every moment I could.. with peace and do anything without pressure.. but can we live without pressure? I doubt it..
I know I need to overcome all this by myself.. I just dont have a clue right now..
May guanima will let me see the light , shining in front of me..

SIGH......

After a weekkkkkk....

After a week of holiday, I was back to school once more...
After two days, I had my BioChem mini tests.. ( at least I know I would pass )
After five days, I am back to my home now.. resting on sofa and blogging here..
After five days, I will have to complete BioChem tutorial, Anatomy tutorial and BioChem report..
This week I had more free time, however, I did not study much.. Sigh.. cannot find the proper mood to study, what to do?
Oh yeah.. I passed my Anatomy mini test with grade B.. Thanks god for letting me to pass..
After 11 weeks of study, for the first time in my life, I have 3 pimples together on my face..
They seem serious acne, and they show sign of inflammation.. REDNESS and BENGKAK..
After my break for a week, it is others turn to have holidays too.. starting from today.. and it lasts for 2 weeks.. That means, whole campus will be quiet for a week.. until it is my turn to holiday next week.. ( Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri )
One of my friends is having depression, hope he is alright.. just don't think too much and work out your relationship with all your coursemates.. They are important to you in 4 years time.. So, don't be alone..
For another friend, congratulation for getting B+ in Physiology and A- in Anatomy.. All the best to you in incoming exams..
Hope I can score too...
Dinner time.. Byez...

Stress out..

I often wonder.. Am I not good enough to be considered a friend? I know I am not that appealing from the appearance.. but I have always tried my best to improve on my personality.. Sometimes friends around me kinda disappear one by one upon graduation.. I don't know why.. but it just doesn't seem too right for me.. I have thought on this matter for quite some time.. I still couldn't figure out why.. Can someone enlighten me on this? I am lost.. What is friendship actually meant to everyone? Is everyone that busy until we have no time for our old friends?

I admit I am kinda inhibit person, and I kindly do not have bunch of friends out there waiting for me.. but I do treasure everyone of my friend..really.. Friends are like my mental support besides my family.. When I don't get to reach my family when I am feeling down, friends would be my place to shed my tears, hear my grudges.. and so on..

So, I hope everyone would treasure their friends also.. as you can contact your friends more often(though you might have to waste some money), ask them out for tea or even K songs with them.. Selfishness will lead you to nowhere.. so WAKE UP and START CONTACTING your friends~~